Hi there all you programming langauges. I've called you all here because we need to talk. There's some things I need to get off my chest.

SNOBOL

If the world revolved around writing backgammon games, baby, you'd be the end all be all. But you're bloody useless at anything else. You're pretty but uselss.

Logo

You wear me out. I have to tell you to do everything.

FORTH

DARLING I MISS YOU. Where are you?

Prolog

You look good on paper, but you scare me. Remember that time in Beverly Hills? You have some very odd friends. And what's with the pink ties?

Algol

Oh algol. We had some great times together. But there is life after college, really.

Lucid

Lucid: you aren't. You should have been called "heroin".

PL/I

PL/I you are the perfect ex langauge. There's nothing to like about you and I don't miss you. Hell I don't even remember you that well any more. You're so damn difficult even your name cant be used in a URL because you screw that up. Put skip THIS, bitch.

Forth come back! All is forgiven. Let's just you and me go someplace and dup dup dup. Or was that postscript. No no, she's just a friend.

Aww dammit. Forth? Honey?