According to ABC news ICANN today quietly ammended a bill in congress and came away with an Air Force. Justifying this as a cost savings measure, they aquired 3 gulfstreams and a 747 and said this will cut down on travel time and expenses as the planes continually fly around the world non-stop having meeting as they determine the policy that define the communications network we all love and know as the Internet.

After the first round of new top level domain applications are completed, two years from whenever you're reading this, ICANN is expected to acquire a Navy. "We're bigger than some small countries now, richer and more powerful, and if some of those pinhead cctlds think they can avoid paying an armed ICANN, think again. And think this: if we had nukes we wouldn't tell you, you know what I mean" an ICANN spokesperson said under condition of anonymity.