My parents moved last August to an apartment building with a really nice view of the lake. They didn't really need their 3 story five bedroom Victorian house any more, too big to clean, to big to heat, etc. The building they moved to seemed idea, small, quiet, nice view.

And a psychotic freak for a manager it turned out. Regular army type. In a big way.

Incidents of civil disobedience are on the rise. Said manager is fond ot putting notices up all around the building, particular in the elevator. In ALL CAPS with enough typographical and grammatical errors they wouldn't pass in a grade 5 classroom.

Spelling corrections by the residents have become increasingly common. Placing the signs upside down or on the ceiling of the elevator, too.

Last night I was visiting and put their car back in their parking space. My dad had put one o fmy daughters overnight bag in the corner of the parking space and when I put the car in its spot there was Major Major (as he is called) examining the bag, playing with the retractable handle.

"Is this yours?!?" he said aggressively.

"Yes, it is, let me take that up" I said, not knowing it was there, and probably shouldn't have been.

"This is dangerous"

"Huh? How so?"

"I have to protect the safey of the pople here and an unattended suitcase is a danger"

I thought maybe he was worried about somebody tripping over it. But when he said "unattended luggage" my mind clicked on visions of an airport.

"Do you really think it's a bomb?!?".

"I'm responsible for the safety of the residents here!"

"It might be a bomb, but it might just be a suitcase. Do you really think terrorists are going to blow up a parking lot ? Is there an underground nuclear reactor I don't know about here?"

"It shouldn't be there, it could be anything".

"Well, yes, I can see that. Do you think there are any others? Maybe you shouldn't be playing with it if it might be a bomb. Maybe it's full of Anthrax."

"Maybe you should leave now"

"Well hang in you might be on to something. Goodness, do you think these are Iraqi or Pakistani terrorists. You know they cook some funny smelling food in 904, maybe it's them"

"Just go away"

"Hang on, I'm concerned about the safety of the residents too, my parents live here, and if there's a terrorist threat here I think you should call the RCMP"

"Just leave will you - go, go"

"But then the terrorists will win!".

Between the paranoid delusions of this nutjob and the perpetual construction noise that's been going on for a month do far as they resurface the face of the building my parents want to move, ASAP and have already found an utterly charming house on the lake. They just need to get out of their lease before it comes up in August.

I suspect this won't be difficult.

rjs - 5/9/10

Postscript - Major Major pissed my dad off and my parents moved one building over to a building with nicest people running it who were transferred to a "problem building" and were replaced by a far worse pack of psychotic freaks in the never ending game of Realstar Follies. More to come.