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The feral cat named 'Kitten'
The feral cat named 'Kitten'

Our cat got out yesterday. We found her in 2018 as a small kitten, with one infected eye and a belly inflated by malnutrition soaking wet one cold February morning being attacked by the worlds worst Starbucks barista who kicked her when she hissed at his precious ratlike-dog "Mitzi". We never went to that Starbucks again and it closed 8 months later. I did pick up the wet cat and on a diet of home made tuna packed in oil and duck and the right vitamins the eye got better and it grew up into the most absurd cat I've ever had nd I've had dozens. She is terrified of the great outdoors. You can leave the door wide open and she'll just stare at it and will not cross the threshold. In fact she spend nearly every night in our bedroom window staring outdoors. "Nice place to look at but you don't want to visit". Once a year she gets out, usually by accident and is terrified and just wants to get back inside.

Yesterday she opened the not quite closed door, and stuck her head through a now large hole in the screen door and got out. She was outside for about 5 minutes before we noticed it was quiet (she's a noisy puss) and went to look.

There she was on thre other side of the screen, claws firmly planted in it trying to no avail to get her head back into the hols in the screen . The look on her face was "HELP, I MADE AN AWFUL MISTAKE AND AM TRAPPED OUT HERE".

I opened the screen door enough so she could get in and she still tried to get through the now-enlarged hole in the screen as the door moved. I opened the door a bit more, she kept doing it, finally I opened the door enough where she could not try that and went around, and trough the opened door. She skulked in like somebody was stepping on her back then ran up the stairs like a scalded mink.

For the last 24 hours she's been coming up to us and saying:

"I WAS TRAPPED"

You wern't trapped.

"I WAS LOST"

You wern't lost, you were on the front porch. You're just an idiot that doesn't know what a door is.

Over and over again.

When she's not doing that she's re-familiarizing herself with inanimate objects: "I LOVE YOU CHAIR, HOW I MISSED YOU WHEN I WAS LOST".

You wern't lost.

"I WAS TRAPPED"

You wern't trapped.