========================== Begin part 2 ================================ {Guy in audience} Hunter are you ever going to get even with Felton ? {HST} {Snorts} Who.. are you ? {Guy} I wrote my term paper on... {HST} I've made so many enemies in my life that I ... voices coming out of the dark ... vengence.... {Guy in audience} Hunter, Agnew was in the news today... {HST} I've been in planes all day... what happened ? {Guy} He wants his money back, $143,000 that they think that he took as kickbacks.... {Other guy} Only $143,000 ? {HST} Only $143,000, yeah, really. Agnew, AGNEW... sat in the executive office building which is uuuh, proverbial stones throw from the white house ... same grounds, and had thugs and pigs, and you know, bag ladies from Maryland carry in grocery bags full of money... {Audience goes nuts} {HST} Are they charging him with it or is it gossip ? {Guy} No, he's fighting the IRS, he want to take it as a tax deduction... {HST} HE should be in jail ... I'm sure he'd say the same thing about me, but uuuh, I believe if you had a vote in this country, more people would vote to put Agnew in jail than thay would me. That really is faith in democracy. {Guy in audience} What would you do if someone like the Ayatolla put contract out on you ? {Guy in audience (actually it was Keith Doyle)} Yeah, have you heard any good veiled threats in Farsi lately ? {Yet another guy} The Rum Diary ? {HST} The Rum Diary is a novel that I wrote a long time ago and sold to Random House.... Yeah, it's a novel about women, ha ha... I took it back because it was no good, I have it sitting there... so whan you see it.... {Guy in audience} Was that the first or second failed novel ? {HST} Second.... {Guy in audience} Hey Hunter tell us about some of your scuba diving experience, it's a fascinating aspect to your writing, and I heard you were also in a decompression chamber in Hawaii {Girl in audience} Yeah, were you in a hyperbaric chamber Hunter ? {HST} ... yeah ... wha ?? {HST} Can you tell what trouble in I'm in for ? {Guy in audience} Did you run a porno, theatre ? {HST} I've done that. I'm real comfortable in my position as manager of the O'Farrel theatre, which is the, uhh, Carnagie hall of public sex in America. {Girl in audience} Hunter, did you really split a tab of black acid with John Chancellor at the Democratic Convention ? {HST} Well......... no. Chancellor freaked out. When I wrote that, the publisher asked the same question. At that time I said ``yeah'', so he said ok, well, we'll have to get a uhh, release. So I uh, sent it to Chancellor, he's a nice guy, I know him. I called him.. I got him *drunk*, *I* was drunk, I said ``John, here's what I want to write ... ho ho'' He said ``Yeah, .. ho ho''. But BOY, he wasn't the same when it comes out in the book. He uhh, we're no longer ...... close. *I forget* sometimes that not everybody has the same..... framework for humor that I do. {Guy in audience} Do you have fun in New York {Another guy} Hunter is that good pot ? {HST} I don't know I havn't had enough ...... {Suuuuuuck} no, no, it's not. {about 6 people in audience ask about abortion, operation rescue, RU486, etc} {HST} Oh god... Abortion is a uhh.. Well, we put things together, 1, 2, 3 and maybe somebody here will understand that abortion is not something that I want to talk about right now....uhh, but I will, and .... I just been through a hideous abortion situation and it makes me squeemish to even hear the word. {Guy in audience} Right now you're a big hero in a comic strip, and have been there for about 10 years in some of the craziest character- izations. Do you read these every morning ? {HST} Well I don't see them at all - I don't read the comic strips. Once you read the New York Times you forget about comic strips. {Audience} You don't read Doonesbury ? {Audience} Yeah, Uncle Duke ? {HST} No, I dont read any of that I know about it sure - there's books about it. {Guy in audience} Have you met Trudueu ? {HST} No. {Guy in audience} He's a big fan of yours, obviously. {HST} Yeah, he's been money off me for a real long time. {Girl in audience} Do you like it ? Do you mind having him do that ? {HST} Welllll, wait a minute now. This is the country of oppertunity, ambition and possabity and uh, it's been traditional for children to grow up wanting to what, be firemen and president ... cowboys, rich - nobody that age ever wanted to grow up and be a comic strip character. {Guy in audience} AL DAVIS AND THE LAKERS!! {Guy in audience} Can we talk about Lettermen ? What about New York ? {Guy in audience} How bout American Samoa ? {HST} When I first heard about that ...hang on, let me just ramble for a second. Alcoholics.... one drinks and you... a second.... {Guy in audience} How many times have you been on? {HST} Oh no, this is not Letterman, this is that shit eating comic strip..... anyone else have a joint ? I'm sorry this is hard to deal with. All I though was.... I don't read the buisness pages, I don't read the stock market report.... do read the sport section. No I got used to that long ago... at first I thought it was an intrusion on my life but.... {Girl in audience} Do you have a Chinese girlfriend ? {HST} Huh ? Do you have one ? .... selling Chinese girls... {Girl in audience} Who do you want for the Democratic party in 92 {HST} Gary Hart .... did somebodymention..... {Girl} What happened to your friend Gary ? {HST} Oh boy.. {Audience laughs} {HST} Gary was a 16 point favorite over Bush the day before...a week when he uhh.... tripped.. over his dick. {Audience laughs} {HST} I've known Gary for a long time, he's a friend, yeah.... my voice is getting weird... these fucking grapes.. Chilean, right ? {HST} {rambles incoherently, and quietly, the tape recorder didn't pick any of it up. The audience screams ``Shut up'' and ``Use the mike''. HST Blows as hard as he can into the Mike making an ungodly loud noise, and then screams ``HOOOOOOO'' into the mike, further deafening everybody} {HST} That election for president may have been the death knell for the democratic party as a functional force in politics ... because Bush was so easy to beat. You think thats fair enough writing about this geek, this wimp, this oily bastard who never got busted for anything even though he's been what, Chief of the CIA and that sort of job, Bush has never taken responsibility for *anything* other than John Tower. You know that Bush's record, uhh, what, congress, ambassador, like that, it's like the Spring Springhill mine disaster - nobody was responsible. Any office that Bush was in it's almost the records have been cleaned with lemon juice or something... I'm wiping white spit off the top of my head - that might be better weed than I thought - but Bush has become president by never taking responsibility for anything at all... {Guy in audience} He's president by default {HST} Well, I don't know about that - he was a CIA chief, and ambassador to China - huh, we have no, yeah, I talk about that in _A Generation of Swine_ Here's a man whose denied responsibility for anything he's ever done, like the Iran Contra thing , *and the whole thing started* in his office. With uhh, that little bastard Greg, Donald Greg, whose the guy he fired... the first day in office ........ Fuller Greg Fuller. Donald Greg was the uhhm, original operative, he walked straight out of Bush's office and uh, I never really understood that thing, uhh, Greg Fuller why he was fired, here's a guy who was about to be cheif of staff in the white house who had been, .... this is the one inconsistant thing he's done... there has to be a reason for it, a apparently inconsistent that Bush would fire... {Guy in audience} He knew too much. {HST} Knew too much ? Whadda you mean ? Hanged himself ? Where is he now man ? I want a book contract... well thats what Bush did he did a very... uhh yeah, the name of Greg Fuller will probably surface again.. well he was Bush's chief of staff for years... all the campaigns, he influenced victory, they all won except for Fuller, he was on his way to being white house chief of staff... I think we will hear from Greg.... {Guy in audience} YAAWWWWWWNN ! {HST} Alright what do YOU have ? ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, IF *I* WAS HAVING ANY FUCKING FUN I WOULDN'T BE UP HERE TALKING ABOUT GREG FULLER! THATS THE WHOLE POINT ABOUT BUSH BEING PRESIDENT, HE'S NO FUN! {Guy in audience} How do you ... {HST} Since I'm getting drowsy here.... I want you to sharpen up your questions. {Guy} How do you feel about the Grateful Dead ? {Other guy} STONES OR BEATLES! {HST} The Grateful Dead, uhh, Yeah, they may be the best band ever, the best people, I've know them for many many many years. {Guy in audience} How you feel about the cultural re-interest in the sixties. {HST} Well, you could only hark back to.... you couldn't hark back to a better time... if uhh, you get to a point where we are now, where rain is poison, sex is death, nothing is good for you, all politics is corrupt.... yeah, thats why I think people go back to the sixties... somebody ask me a funny question or I'll... {Somebody brings him another joint. He lights it} {Guy in audience} You never answered me about Felton. {HST} FUCK Felton! He swims with the fishes. {Guy in audience} What about Sununu ? {HST} Welll, I don't know, what do you think ? If he fires Sununu, who got his job strictly... because he won New Hampshire for Bush, when Bush was almost.. uhh, gone, they pulled the state out for him, and pulled Dole out of the race... Bush is very good about Loyalty... he's a good old boy, sort of a Texas mafia ivy league ... he's very good on loyalty and Sununu paid off.. my guess is he'd sacrificing Sununu too. {Guy in audience} With all the insanity about drug testing what do you think, especially with DeMotto's proposition for drug testing teenagers for sports, drivers licenses and college, what do you think's next ? Are they gona test everybody who walks out of bars. {HST} Hey, we bitch about all these things, which is exactly right, and uhh, I've been doing it for a long time, but, this is an arena and a power is uh, politics, and we've been bitching for a long time and like Mayor Daley said, I recognize when power moves, and uhh, th democratic power is the opposition, and there is no opposition. The opposition to the 16% conservative have, we've embarrassed ourselves. I don't feel good about losing 5 out of 6 elections. I didn't feel good about winning with Carter. Jim Mitchell, my cohort in San Francisco said about Dukakis, the day after the election: ``Well it could have been worse... we might have won'' When the democrats cannot win a candidate, year after year, horrible beatings, maybe they do deserve to be run off the planet. {Girl in audience} What does it mean to you to be a Hillbilly ? {HST} Well, lazy mainly.. mean....... wierd attention span.... lemmee think about it.... {Girl} I'm a hillbilly too, I've been trying to figure it out for a long time.. {HST} .. hows that work ? Lazy, mean.. {Girl} I don't know about lazy, but mean, definitly... {Guy in audience} Sordid family background... {HST} Lazy, mean, what was that... assorted family backgrounds ? {Audience} SORDID! {HST} Well thats the whole point, what you people would call sordid, we hillbillies would call.... {Guy in audience} Cousins! {Audience breaks up} {HST} {laughs} Very good, very.... uhh, anybody Pakistani in here ? Tell us about, uhh, oh god..... I have my own twisted scores to settle and I uhh... {Girl in audience} Do you want to go on with Timothy Leary or not ? {HST} Oh, I have, We didn't go on... I've known Tim for years. He's crazy as a loon... {Audience breaks up} {HST} No, he's not crazy, he's a very good buisnessman. {Girl} How bout a double bill ? {HST} I've done that... I think Tim thinks I'm too.... undisciplined. I'm too wild. He's moved on to computers. {audience} Oh really. Sure. No way. {HST} Oh no, believe me, he has. =============================== End of part 2 ============================= -- ``The way to heaven is through weasel lore!'' - Ted Kaldis richard@gryphon.COM decwrl!gryphon!richard gryphon!richard@elroy.jpl.NASA.GOV
