Oracle and Java can suck my dick.

Oracle and Java can suck my dick.

(Why I'm black-holing

I have work to do, I need my computer and my web browser. What I don't need is Oracle stealing that time away from me with a debauched install-uninstall-install-uninstall cycle.

Used to be, browsers were shipped with JavaScript (Invented by Netscape) or Java (invented by Sun Computers) turned off, allegedly because of "security" when in reality they blew up the browser or hung the browser up to 100% of the time on certain sites. After afew years JavaScript was sane enough to be turned on and for a few years most browsers come with Javascript turned on. I use Opera 99% of the time and I've always been able to turn Javascript on and off as I needed. No problem.

I was poking arond tonight and something I was looking at needed Java to run. That's ok, I don't have Java, anything Javan I can live without. It's had real security issues in the past few months of this writing and it's always been a pig and it's brought nothing to the table from what I can see, with the additional impetus of HTML5 turning Java into one thing in my mind: Betamax. So I don't keep it installed. In the once every two years I have to actually use Java I'll install it, use it then remove it. I had to use it tonight.

But I did not know this. It just went ahead and installed Java without asking or telling me. I know this because my computer fucking froze up for 45 seconds (which it, um, doesn't do, ever) and then it gave me a "Hi, I'm Java! I'm baaaaaaaaaaack" notification. Oh rly?

Java installed? Tsk tsk tsk. Not nice. Settings -> control panel --> add/remove software...

There's Java alright, Version 6 rev 24. Remove. Chug chug chug. "you need to close this Opera window". Hmm, But I'm *using* that opera window, and lots of others, some of which have a number of tabs open. This works very well. Unless I run Java. But ok, I'll keep track of the URL and close that one window and be rid of the Javan plague and be done with it. Fair play.

Chug chug chug: "You need to remove this other Opera window". Okkkkkkkk... there's nothing that page but my code and there's no Java there, promise. But I'll give you this one, too. *close* Chug chug chug "you need to close this Opera window" - ok I see what you did there. This window has 6 tabs open, all my code, no java, and you want me to close it you Javan swineherd? No. I'll choose the "Cancel" option at this point please. Hrrmph.

I fiddled so Opera would come back up where I was, and rebooted. And then uninstalled Java. Except that didn't work. It just sort of went away after a few minutes, not saying anyhting about all those disk clicks, it had just gone away... and Java was still installed. I tried 2 or 3 times, no dice.

So OF COURSE I had to install the latest, Java 6 Rev 25, which worked, and that had deleted Java 6 Rev 24 (without asking I note) then I could delete the now current installation of Java, which worked as well.

But, Opera has no on/off switch for Java now. And don't give me this "it's a plugin" crap, Java and Javascript have always been handled as special cases.

But feature is gone. I can turn JavaScript on and off eaisly and quickly but I can't turn Java off and I apparently can't stop Java from installing itself. Lovely.

So, I'm blackholing I'll have no more of this silliness.

The punchline is, when I was finally done all this and rebooted? Flash updated itself. I have never hurt a computer before, especially not throw one against a wall, but there are times when you really wonder why that is.

So, Oracle, that's it, we're done. Larry Ellison being a prick I could live with but always considered it a strike against anything Oracle. I wasn't real happy, to say the least, with what happened with MySql, strike two. Java in my opinion has always been for children, and a resource sucking pig of a security hole wide enough to drive a truck through and this round of bullshit is strike three. No means no, Larry.

And, uh, buh-bye.

Richard Sexton
May 2011