The Walrus Was Paul

A Day In The Life Of the Domain Name World
(The Walrus Was Paul)

Having fallen for the latest craze of rock star psuedogurus the newly reorganized band formerly known as ICANN released its recent staff change first to a Bulgarian newspaper, as the organization resonated with the ideals of the former tyrannic soviet-bloc fascist regime in announcing the firing^H^H^H^H^H^Hdeparture of Paul McCartney, who in 6 years of making a whopping great salary (this year almost $1m, and this is to work at home) never could figure out how to actually make a new top level domain. The suggestion of using an aging rock star to soley oversee global technical and legal policy of the Internet naming system was seen as a novel move in the last century when ICANN was formed back when the Internet ran on steam power, but it turns out he just can't friggin do it. This Aussies root is not going up.

Paul McCartney

"I've seen Vint do it, on tape, back in 2000, right here! Right here in the building in Marina del Rey that I go to, twice a year to get my email - ironically - and I've stood in that room, no wires, there must be some trick but I just haven't figured it out yet". But I'll be getting some new committee reports from some stakeholders in all constituencies and will have some findings soon. Again.

Pundits say he's just getting out while he can as they're installing cameras in the halls and clothing would no longer be optional.

The Monolith in the lobby

Tina Dam. Still there.

Paul's $1M View from the office he doesn't show up at

"First Jon's dead and now this" Paul was quoted as saying. "The band is splitting up". A spokesman for the band in Marina del Rey had cited "artistic differences" on the telephone. A hard days night for Paul indeed.

Twomey will take his last limousine ride along Mindanao drive to his home on the other side of the street later this year.

Rod Beckstrom will now step up to the plate and see what he can do with this mess. His first move will be to find less slummy digs for the organization and ICANN. It is expected ICANN will occupy either the Parthenon or the Roman coliseum.

Meanwhile former ICANN board chair Esther Dyson could barely contain herself and was caught stroking Rod all over twitter:

While these clowns order quails eggs and live monkey brains in first class, the people they're alleged to serve wonder what happened to the things ICANN was supposed to be doing. Hello? One billion dollars and 10 years later, and never mind every convenience store has a guy who knows a guy that runs a top level domain for some country you've never heard of and has a cool domain and all these new domains came up while ICANN was studying how to do it.

Can't they ask the guy that knows the guy in the convenience store? He got it to work didnt he? Some guy Thaicanuckifuckistan is driving a Rolls Royce now because he got his stuff into some American server computers, while American companies have to wait for "the process to be studied" and the secrets of these mysterious nepotistic American root servers unraveled.

Study buddy over there, his works, meanwhile one of the great American job creation programs using American technology is put on hold while a bunch of English and Swiss guys have a circle jerk with the trademark lawyers. Grea-hay-hay-hayt.

Understandably people are upset.

SALARY Twomey's paycheck

Oh no he didn't... did Paul Twomy just lie to congress?